bleep.

being a lover of Jesus, and one who is not a cusser, all i can seem to think to say now is "fuck".

what do you do when your mom is diagnosed with advanced metastatic breast cancer in her liver? this is shit.

the funny, or should i say unfunny, thing about it all is that it this was not supposed to be. diagnosed a year ago with breast cancer it was stage 1, not in the lymph nodes, estrogen postive, HR negative, aka the best type to have. she even had chemo to prevent anything from spreading. she just finished chemo 9 months ago, this is not supposed to happen. i am, at the least, terrified. i cannot lose her. this is not a mother who has been distant in my life. she is my mom and a best friend.

this is not intended for anyone to read, if you stumble across, peace to you. prayers are glady accepted.


so what do you do in the midst of hostility when all you want is to know it is going to be ok?